7 Ways to Practise Self-Kindness in Retirement

Self-kindness plays an important role for overall well being, especially in retirement. But it doesn’t always come so easy for a lot of us. It can feel self-indulgent or perhaps even a little vain to be ‘nice’ to ourselves. 

However, from feelings of isolation, to not enjoying everything that comes with ‘ageing gracefully’, our mental health can often take a bit of a hit once we retire. Which is why practising self-kindness is essential. 

So try and spend a few minutes everyday to focus on treating yourself kindly, as it can make our brains a much more safe and comfortable place to spend time. 

Speak nicely to yourself

The best way to do this is imagine that you’re talking to a friend. If they were saying negative things about themselves, or were feeling anxious about a situation – you would only treat them with care, consideration and kind words. And there’s no reason why you’re not allowed to speak to yourself that way, you deserve it. 

Accept what you can’t control

Frustration is a topic that comes up a lot for those in retirement. You may not be able to do all the things you used to, or other people may treat you differently. You may also feel a little ‘stuck’ – depending on where you live and how far you feel comfortable to drive/travel. 

But here’s the thing, we all waste a lot of time and energy annoyed at things we can’t change, and beating ourselves up because we ‘can’t do this’ or ‘can’t do that’ anymore. So instead, why not focus on the things we can do? You’ll find you’re a lot kinder to yourself if you can be okay with things that are out of your control (such as ageing and less mobility). 

Put pen to paper

Writing a letter to yourself is an ideal way to release a lot of feelings, thoughts and emotions. You may want to remind yourself of the achievements you’re most proud of, or put together a plan to achieve some goals in the future. You could also note down all the things you like about yourself, something to easily refer back to when you need a little ‘pick me up’. 

Focus on gratitude

Practising daily gratitude is a really great tool for self-kindness. It allows you to really zone in on all those things that are wonderful about your life, even the simplest things such as a warm, cosy bed, delicious food in the fridge and lovely friends to visit. 

Thinking about all those things around us that make our days happy and fulfilled has such a positive effect on the mind, allowing us to remember what makes our life great, and ultimately – what makes ‘us’ pretty special too!

Give yourself a pat on the back

Put yourself out there and joined a club where you didn’t know anyone? Great job! That’s a hard thing to do. Preserved with a tricky puzzle and solved it? Nice one! Proud of something you made? So you should be! All of these things definitely deserve a pat on the back because celebrating the wins, no matter how small, is an essential part of self-kindness. 

You’d cheer someone else on for these achievements, so know that you are allowed to do that for yourself too.

Indulge in things you enjoy

Treat yourself! From a long, hot bath on a Saturday evening, to reading your book in bed till late morning because it’s too hard to put down – make time to enjoy all of those simple pleasures in life. Priortising self-care is an essential part of our wellbeing, because no one else is going to do it for us! And again, by putting these little rituals in place, we’re laying all the right foundations for our mental health. 

Minimise the negative chatter

Self-talk has the potential to knock us down and sadly, keep us there, especially when we can’t get rid of the negative chatter. But there are ways to stop it, we just have to ‘flip the script’. So instead of heading straight to things like ‘I’m not good at this’ or ‘I’m a failure’, we can actually learn to change that narrative, replacing it with something more positive and productive, such as – ‘I’m still learning’ and ‘sometimes I fail and that’s okay’. 

Self-kindness can feel a bit ‘weird’ when you first start out. But know that it’s an important part of your well being toolkit. Just like nourishing our bodies with healthy food and moving on a regular basis, self-kindness is another element of looking after ourselves.

If you are looking for a change in 2023, we’d love to chat. Get in touch with the friendly team here at Highgrove here.